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Wednesday 24 February 2010

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on & point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.


2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.


3) Put your garbage can on your desk & label it “IN”.


4) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers


5) Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what u thinks?”


6) Don’t use any punctuation.


7) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.


8) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.


9) Sing along at the opera.


10) Find out where your boss shop & buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them 1 day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite genders.)


11) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing. For example, “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom, in Stall#3.”


12) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.


13) 5 days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.


14) Call the psychic hotline & don’t say anything.


15) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.


16) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I Won!”, “I Won!” “Third time this week!!!”


17) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”


18) Tell your boss, “It not the voice in my head that bother me, it’s the voice in your head that do.”


19) Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of u go.”


20)Every time u see a broom, yell “Honey, your mother is here!”

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